I have included 5 important dating tips for women specifically in our modern age. First, I would like to announce that these difficulties and tips aren’t always fair and I definitely do not want to imply that all men and women are a certain way. While I generalize here, please leave any and all comments with your thoughts and experiences. I’d love to hear them!
I felt it was important to address the common and realistic issues that are effecting modern dating and (in this article, specifically) heterosexual relationships. Although we as women have more choices than even our own grandmothers did, societally, we are still trying to re-establish and define what our modern roles are. As women, we’ve advocated for an equal voice and equal opportunities, which is really powerful; but this also has its own implications, especially when we are trying to find a partner.
Of course, we still have a lot to accomplish as a society, but my intention for writing this article is more to help share dating tips for women in this modern world. I’d like to normalize the difficulties a lot of women experience while balancing the endless responsibilities of her modern life.
So here we go. In the words of Beyonce, “All the Single Ladies!” Listen up: Here’s what you need to know about your dating life!
#1. Be Mindful of How Your Independence Plays a Role in Your Dating Life
Do you feel the need to be independently successful in your career, in finances, with your emotions? Most modern women feel the need to be independently wealthy and are encouraged by our societal shifts to be independently driven in many ways. We’ve come so far from the traditional nuclear prototypes of gender roles.
#2. Don’t Play Too Many Games
I get it, realistically, you kind of have to play the game to some degree when you are dating. You are getting to know so many different types of people; you’re trying to break through barriers and find a potential connection. However, I would advise that you don’t spend too much of your time stressing about all the superficial rules… that really don’t even matter in the grand scheme of things.
Petty “rules” of not returning text messages within 2 hours of them sending a message, or Snap Chatting just to tease them when you’re out with girlfriends is just plain pointless. If you want to attract a man that is intrigued by your intellect; that can connect with you emotionally and shares core values with you, then you shouldn’t have to worry about who wins these petty games. If he is mature and has the depth you are looking for, then you will know without having to entertain each other with the superficial games.
#3. Don’t Let Yourself Be “Too Business”
We get it! You probably kick a lot of butt at the office and you should be proud of yourself for that; but being too business in your dating life may only cause your partner to feel insecure, threatened and/or annoyed, which could lead to competing against each other. This is harmful to a relationship because neither of you will let your guards down if you’re both making the assumptions that you have to be better than the other. I promise you, this is a recipe for disaster and should be avoided at all costs!!
#4. Be Straight Forward, but Soft.
A lot of my single women clients portray an amazing self confidence. They make good money for themselves, they are educated, well traveled; highly functioning and intelligent. They are all around really “great catches.” Unfortunately, most of them are struggling with the same issue; they can’t find the “right guy.” Of course, I don’t have a magic wand and can’t create Prince Charming, but I do help my clients look within to strengthen themselves and make internal/external shifts. These changes can ultimately help my clients show up in the world differently; help them redefine their dating search to help create real connection. It gives them permission to see themselves and align their values, roles and expectations with their authentic selves.
#5. Redefine Your Expectations of Where You Think You “Should Be” (Especially at Your Age)
This can be a big influence, whether or not you know it. As Millennials anyway, we are taking “longer to settle down” as a generation. We are building our careers and going on adventures before we really feel the desire to settle down and invest in a family or partner. This is OK, but understanding how it may be impacting you is important. I have many clients (men and women) that start to feel regretful and sad by their decisions to prioritize their careers prior to a family, and when they find themselves at thirty-something, they feel lonely and discouraged with the dating world.